The finely crafted invitation
Affairs of Efficiency
Note: In the original website, this was the first story.
In an event of epic proportions and infinite implications, Juston Western, second lieutenant in a military organization marries Ashley Zeringue.
The weekend was rather chilly. This did nothing to temper the excitement, though, as a grand wedding was in the immediate future. My friend, Megan, and I arrived at St. Rita’s Catholic Church not long before the start of the actual ceremony. An usher-like individual in formal military attire greeted us, and after inspecting our invitation for the authentication hologram, took us to our pew, which was about ten rows back from front stage. We were treated to some harp music to keep the crowd calm until the ceremony began.
The harpist changed her tune and things started happening. A priest appeared. He seemed to be an older priest. Then groomsmen, including one Brian Kelley, made their way down the isle, escorting bridesmaids. Then some parents and grandparents made their way down the isle. Juston then made himself seen, but I do not remember from whence he came. Finally, Ashley made her way down the isle. The ceremony got under way as most do, and went off for the most part without a hitch. The one exception was that as the wedding photographer moved about taking pictures, the priest called her down and told her not to walk around while he was telling a story. Overall, though, the ceremony went as it should have.
Afterward, we made our way out of the church. I shook Juston’s hand on the way out. The reception was to be at the House of Broel. Along for the ride to the reception was none other than my old ‘Little Buddy’ when I was a sophomore, Jonathan Lewallen and with him Amy. They were briefly in town from Washington DC.
House of Broel is on St. Charles, and we inadvertently passed it. After finding parking, we went in and the fun started. There was a significant offering of food along with a nice open bar for those at the reception who felt like drinking, and many people did. Megan and I spent the first thirty or forty-five minutes mingling and consuming food. Then the band kicked it up a notch and the couple had their first dance. Megan and I joined in the dancing fray. There was one really drunk older couple that was dancing rather roughly near the band, and they nearly leveled Megan and me on more than one occasion. The man half of the couple was quite burly. My old classmate Matt (hyphenated last name redacted) was there with his girlfriend. He was quite drunk and they were dancing in an…affectionate…manner. I leaned over and kiddingly mentioned to them that this was a family event. They laughed, but sure enough, some of the family did notice such dancing practices.
I took a break for a while to fetch Megan some drinks and I ran into a quite drunk Ryan Gerrity (my other ‘Little Buddy’ from my sophomore year). We talked for a while then I returned to the dancing area to continue ‘breaking it down’. Then it was time for wedding cake consumption. Of course, there were two wedding cakes, a bridal and a groomiary. Now, for those readers who do not know, Juston is the most efficient person in the history of mankind. I have worked on school projects with him, so I know. The bridal cake was this perfectly crafted tower of consecutively smaller rectangular solids. The right angles on this thing were amazing. Furthermore, there was a big, silver ‘W’ atop the cake. To me that cake was the best part of the whole thing. If reflected the clean-cut, efficient nature of Juston. The groomiary cake was almost as good. It was a perfect right circular cylinder.
Anyhow, after more dancing, it was time for the reception to be over. We all went outside, during which were given handshakes and hugs by the esteemed bride and groom. Since rice is now not PC, we rang bells at them as they exited the premises. All in all, a perfectly crafted event with few mishaps of which I know about. Nobody who should not have shown up to make trouble did, and that was pleasing to everyone involved. Congratulations to the newlyweds!