Soodhalter’s Informagoriam

So much meat!

One week after the bachelor party, Chris Spring (the bachelor) and his fiancé, Melanie Seals, come to Houston for a wedding.

I met up with Chris and Mel’s younger cousin, Patrick, at the Galleria inside Saks fifth avenue. We walked around for about four hours browsing at different stores. I ate a Subway sandwich.

The two most fun stores were the Apple and Sony stores. In the Apple store, we looked around a bit and messed around with the computer that had the biggest flat screen monitor I have every seen. Christopher pulled up this website and read the story about his bachelor party and then made his way to the pictures of said party. He looked at the above picture and thought it would be funny to make it the desktop background of the computer. We dragged the picture to the desktop and I set it as the background. Then we browsed the rest of the store. Later, a customer was looking at the computer and glanced in our direction. Then he looked back at the computer and did a double take toward us. It was time to leave the store. We went to the Sony store to look around and, again, set the desktop of the biggest computer the profile of Chris eating meat. To give us a little leeway to walk in the store, I put up a web browser window in front of the picture. Later, Patrick ran back in and closed the browser. When we passed the Sony store later, there was a security guard hovering in that area to prevent further desecration of the computers. I felt like we were in high school, but it was fun.

We met up with Melanie and her mother’s family at the Fox sports bar. After chatting for a bit, Chris and I went to the bar to watch sports and eat some wings. They were okay. Then Melanie came in and we walked out together. It was a good visit. Hopefully, I will get to see them again before the wedding.

I came to a realization in the parking lot of Sam’s Club that I want to share.

I know what my primary goal in life is now.

I am going to be so wealthy when I am older that I will have a butler, and my butler will have a rhesus monkey that will be his butler. The monkey will have some sort of frog.

Celebrating the end to bachelorhood by eating till it hurts

Last weekend finally arrived. I got out of work later than expected and ended up driving to New Orleans mostly in the darkness of night. This was okay as I am finding that I enjoy night driving. I stopped and ate at my favorite Waffle House on the western edge of Beaumont. I had two poached eggs, hash browns, toast, grits, and coffee. The guy working there remembered me from the previous time I had eaten there. It had been his first day and he was quiet and nervous. He was much more gregarious this time around. I got into New Orleans around midnight and met up with Megan and Ryan at a house party. We hung out for a while then went back to Megan’s apartment and I crashed on the guest bed.

I got up the next morning and chatted with the people living at the apartment before showering and dressing for golf. I grabbed a bit to eat and headed down Carrolton to the City Park Golf course to meet up with Chris Spring and the others who were playing golf. I was wearing my flannel, plaid golfing hat when I arrived. My hair had gotten so long that Hobbs asked if my hair sticking out was part of a novelty hat. He collected money for Chris’ pot…so he would not have to pay for anything throughout the evening. I shared a golf cart with Uncle Ran Ran while Hobbs paired with Chris and Matt Miller with Poodle-Mullet.

While I know how to hold a golf club correctly, I am so out of practice that my swings were erratic. I somehow managed to drive a ball diagonally in such a way that it hit the golf cart of the people behind us. They were not good players either, though, so they did not get angry. There was much cigar smoking and beer drinking as we played the holes. I bought some coke along the way. I don’t know who won, but I know that I lost. I ended the day with a +67. However, I did make an honest par on the 11th hole including a nice putt. This accomplishment is negated, though, by the fact that I lost my pitching wedge. It’s with Rha now. Chris did pretty well smoking cigars and wearing flip-flops as he played. He could drive far enough to tee off from the professional tee. He even made par a couple of times.

After four and a half hours of golfing, we parted ways planning to regroup at 7:00 pm for dinner at the Crescent City Steakhouse. I took the cart around the course to look once more for pitching wedge, but it was gone. I drove back to Megan’s apartment, but nobody was home at the time. They were downtown and on their way back, so I had some time to burn. I stopped by Sara’s house to say hello and hang out. Then it was back to Megan’s to shower quickly and head to the steakhouse.

We had reservations in the special back room of the steakhouse. It looked like it was once a bathroom or (as Matt Miller said) a slaughterhouse. There were around 15-20 guys there to celebrate the manliness of eating steaks. There was a basketball game on television that made it even better. Chris ordered the porterhouse for two, which was a huge slab of meat. We all ordered normal steaks and various side dishes. Randal once heard about COURVOISIER® liquor in a rap song and decided to order glasses for himself and Chris. It turns out that even though it is cool to drink COURVOISIER® in rap songs, it does not taste good. The steaks were pretty good. They were drenched in butter. Chris’ steak was huge and it looked tasty. He ate his way through about half the steak before stopping in pain. He could not even drink his COURVOISIER® so Hobbs and Randal shot the glasses down at once ($16 downed in a second with no chaser).

Once we finished our meal, we split into our cars and regrouped at Gordon Biersch, which is attached to the Harrah’s casino parking garage. We spent a while there letting our food digest and drinking things. We discussed sports and politics, two very manly topics. We also got our Harrah’s parking validated, quite a manly procedure as well. After a while, we left to start the next phase of the evening. On the way out, I realized I had to run back in to drop something off. Then we were on our way.

[Paragraph Redacted]

[Paragraph Redacted]

We made our way back to Harrah’s and went inside the casino. Once inside, we were bathed in the background noise of hundreds of slot machines. I did not like that. We walked around for a bit before stopping at the roulette wheel where Chris played for a while. We were all tired, so we decided to call it a night. Chris wanted to go to Tastee doughnuts, so Hobbs said he would meet back up with us after he dropped off Randal and Matt at home. When Chris and I were halfway to Metairie, Jeremy called. Apparently we had left him at Harrah’s while he gambled at the blackjack table. He had won some money.

Hobbs went back for Jeremy and they met us at Tastee. This is an interesting establishment. It’s kind of dirty and the lady running this particular one was a bit crusty and hard to understand. There was an off duty security guard also eating there. While we consumed our doughnuts, a man in a tie and a woman in an overcoat and nice strappy shoes came and sat down for a while. I thought it was weird that she never took off her overcoat, and I began to wonder if she was even wearing anything under the overcoat because she had it wrapped tightly around herself. As she was leaving, Chris speculated that, as a couple, these two may have just met and exchanged money. If that was the case, I have to wonder why this man would take her to Tastee. It seemed that the woman heard our conversation because when she got into this guy’s car, she gave us a knowing salute through the window. I took Chris home and crashed at his place. This was truly a manly day.

Pope Benedict XVI, aka. "The Pope"

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger was elected the new Pope today after a few vote attempts in the conclave. His new Pope-name is Benedict XVI, harkening back to other popes named Benedict as well as St. Benedict, who is associated with Christian monasticism.

Well, they finally elected a new Pope. The former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger is now Pope Benedict XVI. Many news organizations have covered this world event, so I will not bore any who might be reading this with the mundane details of this election.

As a non-Catholic, this event does not have many direct implications upon my life. I have read a great deal about it, though, as I find it interesting. There have been so many people from all over the world who have descended upon the Vatican City for John Paul II’s death as well as this new election. I found one lady in particular rather interesting.

In a story from the New York Times about various reactions to Pope Benedict XVI’s election, a reporter interviewed one lady whose views of the new pope were not positive. Since she was speaking ill of the pope, she chose to remain anonymous…well somewhat anonymous. Below is an excerpt from the article:

“As soon as I heard the name, I had a letdown, sinking feeling that this man is not going to be good for the church,” said Eileen, a 53-year-old Catholic from Boston. She said she was afraid to give her last name because she was active in her parish and did not want to cause any problems for her priest, or jeopardize her daughter’s imminent church wedding.

So, to reiterate, 53-year-old Catholic, Eileen, from Boston, who is currently in Rome, active in her parish, and has a daughter about to get married in the church wishes to remain anonymous. Well, your identity is safe with us Eileen.

Even though I have not really told too many folks about the site yet, I finally got my first real complaint. Landon Clark, a friend of mine, who is secretly from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, feels that I portray him as a bit of a drunk in the photo album. I argue, though, that I am a neutral observer; I just let the pictures tell their own story.

In your “Photo Album Blog Site” (I think blog and site might be a bit redundant, but I’ll refrain from mentioning it.) I feel I am unfairly portrayed as a dirty drunk. Ah hell, who am I kidding, I am a dirty drunk.

-Clark, Landon “Big Dirty”

I got another email from Lisa, this time from Bangkok. However, Bangkok is not really the full name of this place. The real name is กรุงเทพมหานคร อมรรัตนโกสินทร์ มหินทรายุธยามหาดิลก ภพนพรัตน์ ราชธานีบุรีรมย์ อุดมราชนิเวศน์ มหาสถาน อมรพิมาน อวตารสถิต สักกะทัตติยะ วิษณุกรรมประสิทธิ์ or Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit, which means, “The city of angels, the great city, the eternal jewel city, the impregnable city of God Indra, the grand capital of the world endowed with nine precious gems, the happy city, abounding in an enormous Royal Palace that resembles the heavenly abode where reigns the reincarnated god, a city given by Indra and built by Vishnukarn.” I hope to visit this place some day.

Hello to everyone

Sorry time has grown shorter and shorter, but I made it through Australia alright and had a great time in the two short days I had in Sydney. I hung out at the gardens, went to the opera house, and outdo the famous Bondi Beach with some people I met at my hostel for a fun but weird night out on the town. The next day I took the ferry across to Manly and spent some time on the beach (ok, I admit I actually spent my time looking at the wicked intertidal ecology they have in their wading pools) and went for a hike on the cliff paths. I definitely could’ve spent more time there, but that will have to wait for another day.

My flight to Bangkok was delayed of course, but I got in at 1am and met up with my long lost family! The next day just happened to be the last day of the Thai New Year water festival, and Jibjy had already bought me a water gun for my defense. The festival began from the tradition of pouring water over the Buddha and over the hands of the elders during the New Year celebration as signs of reverence and respect…but wouldn’t you know the youth of the nation turned it into something a bit more energetic. I couldn’t bring my camera without it getting ruined (Another reason I should buy that underwater housing!), but I do have one picture of the aftermath of Noy, Jibjy, and I trying to clean off after hours of walking the streets of downtown trying to defend ourselves in water battle and getting covered in talc powder mixed with water to form a clay paint that people smear all over your face and say happy new year (it’s fun until it gets in your eyes!

Now I am packing up to head to Hong Kong to travel into China, and will return to Thailand for more adventures in May. I trust you all are doing well and would love to hear from you about whatever whenever. I am trying to attach some pics, so let me know if they go through. Sorry I don’t have time to label them right now, so you will have to use your imaginations as to what they are!! Peace and love as always from around the globe!

Lisa

After a recent discussion, I began to think about which SNL characters (real or fictional) were the most memorable to me. In case you haven’t figured it out, I like Will Ferrell. Disclaimer: I have likely left out older characters since I was too young for many of them to make a good impression on me. Plus, sometimes I don’t remember stuff too well because it makes my brain hurt to think. So, I welcome any suggestions or notice of omissions.

Here they are, not necessarily in the correct order by favoriteness:

• George W. Bush (Will Ferrell)
• Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond)
• Irwin Mainway (Dan Akyroyd)
• Burt Reynolds (Norm McDonald)
• Frank Sinatra (Phil Hartman)
• Ross Perot (Dana Carvey)
• Sean Connery (Darrel Hammond)
• Starr Jones (Tracy Morgan)
• Professor Klarvin (Will Ferrell)
• Ted Brogan (Will Ferrell)
• Collette Reardon (Cheri Oteri)
• Matt Foley (Chris Farley)
• Al Gore (Darrell Hammond)
• Cirroc “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer“ (Phil Hartman)
• Wilford Brimley (John Goodman)
• Suel Forrester (Chris Kattan)
• Barbara Walters (Cheri Oteri)
• Janet Reno (Will Ferrell)
• Harry Caray (Will Ferrell)
• Robert Goulet (Will Ferrell)
• James Lipton (Will Ferrell)
• Terrence Maddox (Will Ferrell)
• Larry King (Norm McDonald)
• Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute (Dan Akyroyd)
• Beldar Conehead (Dan Akyroyd)
• Samuri Futaba (John Belushi)
• George H. W. Bush (Dana Carvey)
• Strom Thurmond (Dana Carvey)
• Jeane Kirkpatrick (Nora Dunn)
• Robin Williams (Jimmy Fallon)
• Tim Calhoun (Will Forte)
• Katherine Harris (Ana Gasteyer)
• Martha Stewart (Ana Gasteyer)
• Arnold Swarzenegger (Darrell Hammond)
• Reverend Jesse Jackson (Darrell Hammond)
• Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond)
• Dan Rather (Darrell Hammond)
• Tommy Flanagan (John Lovitz)
• Lucien Callow (Mark McKinney)
• Friend of Bill Brasky (Mark McKinney)
• Della Reece (Tracy Morgan)
• Maya Angelou (Tracy Morgan)
• Leon Phelps (Tim Meadows)
• Linda Richman (Mike Myers)
• Dieter (Mike Myers)
• Baba Wawa (Gilda Radner)
• Roseanne Roseannadanna (Gilda Radner)
• Megan (Maya Rudolph)
• Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph)
• Courtney Love (Molly Shannon)

I have now achieved that coveted twenty-fifth year, and with it the concomitant lower auto insurance premium.

It started out like any other day. I got up and read the paper for a while before I realized that it was the big day. After breakfast, I did some work related reading before showering and heading to work for Thursday research meeting.

Normally at the meeting, food is waiting for us when we arrive at noon. When I arrived, though, there was no food out, and confusion was ensuing about its location. The person who had stated the day before that he would be bringing food could not be reached, so we could do nothing but begin the meeting. About an hour and a half later, food from Jason’s Deli finally arrived.

Unfortunately, since I had a small breakfast, this tardiness of food triggered a wonderful migraine headache. I drank some coffee, though, and tried to make it to the end of the day for my yummy birthday dinner. I spent the rest of the workday working with one of the doctors on a PowerPoint for a presentation in England. I got a fun call from April T-15, wishing me a happy birthday. We chatted for a bit, and I promised to call her back later. It was not something we were going to finish before the end of the day since one of the collaborators was stuck in the OR, so she finally let me go around 5:30.

I went straight to Jenn’s house since she, Timothy, and Amanda were taking me to dinner for my birthday. Amanda made fun of me in my hospital scrubs. I chose to go to Goode company barbecue. By this time, my headache was killing me, but nothing was going to keep me from enjoying that sweet, sweet barbecue goodness. I had a chopped beef sandwich with Austin baked beans, jalapeño bread, and pecan pie. It was wonderful. We then walked to the ice cream parlor so that they could have some ice cream. We sat on the outside deck and talked for a while; it was nice to just sit out on a nice evening and chat a bit. Amanda unintentionally insulted the owner of a Jaguar, but he deserved it. Finally, I needed to get home to go to bed for work the next day. It was a great 25th birthday.

Receiving a graded paper back with red marks on it is NOT an emotionally jarring incident.

Maybe the title exaggerates a bit, but I do feel that what I read on CNN’s website is symptom of a much larger problem that does pose a threat to this country. No, it is not an obvious, terrorism type problem. This one is more subtle and pervasive.

A story ran today about how parents at a Connecticut school are starting to object to schoolteachers grading papers in red pen. Apparently, some parents did not like this because markings in red are too “stressful”. Now, red pens are banned from this school. This is just sad. Are kids today so thin skinned that they cannot be exposed to even the most faint hint of failure. In some cases, they even seem to object to a big, red “100 A+”.

As I said, this is just a symptom of a larger problem. Parents want to protect their kids from anything that is even slightly painful. As a result, these kids grow up with a thin skin and cannot handle even the slightest rigors of the ‘real world’. Where I went to high school, there were objections from some parents that the honors classes were too hard for some students. HONORS CLASSES! Isn’t that the point of them? They are at a level of difficulty so that only some students can take them. If your child isn’t cutting it in an honors class, he might not be strong in that subject, or he might be a late developer. It is not the fault of the class or the teacher. There is an epidemic of dumbing things down in this country, and it is hurting us. Our educational system suffers. Jobs start going to countries that push their children, such as Asia. There is such a thing as pushing too hard, but over here, we are doing quite the opposite. In the end, these kids are going to suffer, because you cannot run to mom and dad when your boss hands back something written in red expressing dismay at your lack of competence in your job. Most of the time, you cannot even do that in college.