Greetings from New Orleans. I hope whatever holidays you might celebrate are going well. I have spent the last few days participating in multiple non-secular present distribution events with my family in San Antonio. One common theme at all these events was the purported visit of a guy named Santa Claus.
Santa is one of many fabled overweight present smugglers. My grandmother has this book called Edington’s Catalog of Mythical Overweight Gift Deliverers. The author presents a thoroughly researched, exhaustive listing of 1,456 such mythical figures that have been spoken of throughout the ages. My favorite entry in the book is the ancient figure from Swedish lore called Xanathar the Present Giver. Xanathar was purported to visit the bedrooms of all Swedish children on December 17 of each year. He would pass judgement over the children based upon various deeds committed throughout the year. If the child was judged to be good, he or she received a sack of barley oats and some raw fish. Bad children received a pickled horse hoof and a years supply of schlab. A child who was judged to have been neither good nor bad received a can of goat wax.
This piece of information is my gift to those who read what I write on my website.